19 August, 2009

I mentioned in my post yesterday that if men realized how it affects a wife when he helps her out they would do it oftener, and there would be more families with 12 kids. And while there was truth in that statement, i do want to make one thing clear. A wife is NEVER to use intimacy as a tool to manipulate her husband. That part of marriage is way to beautiful and precious to abuse it in that way and if a wife thinks she has the right to control her man through sex, she is going to reap the rewards. God will remove His blessing from the bedroom and it won't be pretty.

I told Marlin last night that i was so glad i married him and he wondered what made me say it at that moment. I told him that i knew he had plenty of work to do in the office. Not only that, he has a job that he thoroughly enjoys, so canning tomatoes wasn't an escape. It was truly and purely an act of love, and it's those acts that binds a woman's heart with her man's (and makes her cry :). And yes, it will bring an added sweet dimension to the bedroom. Not every man will show his love the same way, so please don't get offended if your man doesn't help can salsa. But i believe every man, especially godly men whose hearts have been turned toward their families, will show their wives how much they love them. There's one condition, however. It will only work the way God intended if a wife hands over the reins of control first to God and then to her husband. Does that make her powerless? Far from it!! For when a wife surrenders her "rights" she unleashes the power of God on her husband. And He is far more capable of keeping your husband on the straight and narrow than what you are. I'll never forget what Marlin told me soon after we were saved. I was feeling the need to "help" him in some spiritual area, and he turned around and with a small grin informed me that God doesn't need any junior Holy Spirits running around. We both burst out laughing but it was something that has stuck with me. If God isn't capable of taking care of your man, you don't stand a chance either. Does that mean you may never share your heart or concerns with your man? No, and that's the amazing part. As you release your husband to God, he will start taking what you say seriously because he knows you're not whining and complaining every five minutes. He will treasure your opinions which in turn will make you careful to not nag and whine since you know the effect it will have on him.

I have to be honest, i can clearly see areas where i haven't been honoring Marlin the way i need to be. And that's quite humbling because i know the real reason he stayed home yesterday wasn't because i've been this amazing woman. It's hard to be amazing when you're 8 months pregnant, waddling, and hormonal. No, he certainly didn't stay home because i'm beautiful, irresistible, and the most submissive woman in the world. He did it because he loves me, and that's like a brand new surprise every day.

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