Happy Birthday, Young Lady!

  I can no longer call her my little girl. She is a young lady, with sparkling brown eyes and a sensitive spirit. Her laugh is contagious, her sense of humor well developed, (well really, does she have an option?) and she's at an age where i can meet her eyes across a room and share a private joke. The kinds of jokes that only friends can understand.

  She's beautiful and i'm prejudiced. I'm ok with that.


 I love her. Seriously love her.


 And she's fourteen today.

Happy Birthday, sweet Emily! 

  It's been quite the week.

  Make that life.

  Tuesday evening Levi was playing on top of the swing set and what do you know, he fell off.

  The top.

  This was the result.

 We spent 4 hours at the hospital getting X-rays and then the plaster. It's a wrist fracture and the cast MAY NOT GET WET! Yeah, right.

  For some reason today he's a bit short tempered and i feel like a truck ran over me. It was exhausting to spend half the night before comforting him and then sitting, sitting, sitting in the same hospital that we sat and sat and sat with Hadassah. By today i want to hide somewhere far, far away but no, there's laundry to wash, food to cook, and a little boy to comfort and rock. He's not in a lot of pain anymore and it's only a two week cast so we have a LOT to be thankful for.

 And what do you know but that it was Jacob's birthday. So after the hospital visit we picked up a gift for Jacob and headed home to where Emily had baked a cake and was babysitting the 3 remaining littles plus two others. She is an amazing young lady and her maturity is way beyond what mine was at her age. But that's what happens when you are the only girl in a family of boys.

Happy 5th birthday, Jacob!!! 

There's a family joke about Jacob and his "fake snakes," so of course we had to make a fake snake cake. Emily baked the cake and her and the boys had great fun decorating it. And I? I took a nap. 

His precious birthday candle that promptly broke when he tried to wash the icing off. Poor little man.

One of his goofy grins.....we get such a kick out of his expressions. 

Not every 5 year old boy gets his own Landrover for his birthday. He was greatly pleased but i think even Eric was a bit jealous.

   Jacob brings so much joy and laughter to our home. Him and Levi are best of friends and where one is you'll find the other. One of his nicknames is "fuzzy" because of his hair constantly standing on end.

   There's no way around it. We love this guy!

  So many things to write about.....so little time.

  I'm going to start with Marlin's big 4-0!!

 We're getting old, people! I well remember my dad turning 40 and i thot he might as well lay down and die. I mean, what worth is life when you're 40? And here we are and i wouldn't trade 40 for 20 any day.

 I planned, along with a few other sneaky people in the compound, a big 40th birthday party on the day of his birthday. I didn't actually think we would be able to pull off the surprise factor but we did. I had Becky, one of the missionary women who does beautiful cake decorating, make a small cake for lunch to throw him off. She also decorated a big cake for the bday party that evening. The small cake worked and it never even crossed his mind that there might be a party instead of a simple supper invite to Tony and Judith's. We walked in at Tony's to the whole compound singing Happy Birthday.

  Yup, we caught him by surprise. The poor littles were a bit confused to walk into a whole crowd of people singing and laughing, hence the reason Jacob is clinging to my hand.

    .....happy birthday to  you.....just so happened that there were two other birthdays that same day so we sang also sang happy birthday to them and to Zac, whose birthday was two days later.

I think he's trying to make it look like MY birthday, but i can assure you, i am still in my thirties. ;) And as usual we have one child digging in the area of his nostrils and poor Jacob looks like he's taking his daddy's old age harder than Marlin himself. 

The cute little toilet paper man made by Tony and Judith, filled with 40 different little gifts. Everyone was supposed to bring 40 things of "something small." People got creative. 

This one was filled with all kinds of useful things like pampers for incontinence.....well suited to a man like mine. ;) 

And we can't forget the food. Judith went out of her way to help me. She did the decorating and made the lattes, (three different kinds). I made the chicken salad sandwiches and another friend, Marji, made the popcorn and chip mix. Thank you friends!! It was a success! 

8 years ago...............

8 years ago i was preparing to go yard saling and then take a hefty dose of castor oil. I was young, naive, very pregnant and desperate to have this baby. It was also several days before my due date but we were moving in a month and i wanted this baby now rather than later. Amazingly the castor oil worked like a dream and she was born that night. Okay, you know what, i think she was born early morning.......i think...ack, i can't remember. Too many brain cells have been lost carrying small human children but it's worth every brain cell. You can ask me if i still think that when i'm 80 and can't tell left from right.

Emily has brought me to tears and my knees more than any of the other children combined but out of it has grown a beautiful relationship. She was born as our lives were spiraling out of control and she spent quite a bit of time with other people while we were busy partying the nights away. My emotions were a mess and i had no clue how to stop this mad dash to hell that i was on, and my little daughter paid the price. I loved her but didn't bond with her for a very long time. I didn't even know that, i just couldn't figure out why, (after i got saved and the battles began) we didn't connect. I just knew i watched other moms with beautiful relationships with their daughters and i wanted that desperately. My heart cried out to God in desperation and instead of it getting better it got worse. It sounds ridiculous to say you have battles like that with a 2 year old but we did. She started throwing massive temper tantrums, but only when daddy wasn't around. He never saw that side of her and would listen with his mouth hanging open. I didn't realize that God was also dealing with some areas in my own life. I had a huge anger issue and would get so mad at the kids that i would totally lose it. I would just yell in frustration and anger and of course they reacted. I couldn't understand how someone who had a radical change of heart could still have these problems but God knew exactly what He was doing. I remember waking up one night and realizing i was turning into someone i didn't want to be. I wasn't angry all the time by any means, it would just fly out of nowhere and i would feel SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED. Slowly, slowly, God dealt with that anger and i also discovered what a difference training a child makes. When i would feel that anger rising, i would simply walk away, and many times i would gather the children around me when we were having a rough morning and tell them we need to pray. I didn't just want to "control" it, i wanted to gain complete victory over it. I was honest with the children about my battle with anger and that it was wrong. I figured they knew it anyway and honesty was better than pretending to be something i wasn't. They took it seriously and would tell me when they thought i was acting angry. That of course would make me mad but the Holy Spirit wouldn't allow me to stop them and instead, i tried to listen and take it to heart. Of course, as all children will do, they took advantage of it, and i had to explain to them that i will not be talking in a syrupy sweet voice but that there is a time for serious firmness. I am still the mother and that means respect but i also knew i had to earn it, not demand it. Oh, it was a painful journey but so, so rewarding. I apologized many, many times to them and through that i gained an unexpected gift. The first time Emily apologized to me for a bad attitude i realized that we were winning with God's help.

The interesting thing is, every time my spirit isn't right, i see that in Emily. It's almost weird but she's like a mirror of myself. When i walk in the light and power of God, she has a sweetness and beauty about her that brings tears to my eyes. When i'm battling anger or any other issue and i'm not dealing with it, i see a little girl who loses her temper and her sweetness disappears. Many times i tell her as i deal with her bad attitudes, that i want her to learn these lessons when she's young, that it's so much harder to deal with it when you're older. I know, i learned the hard way. And yes, we are totally bonded. I can't imagine losing her and just the thought is enough to bring panic to my heart but i always find peace that she is God's. God did a complete brokenness in my heart a couple years ago after she had a huge meltdown in a store. Marlin dealt with it that night and as she went to bed, she glanced over at me and the look in her eyes went straight to my heart like a knife. I can't explain what that look was but that night after everyone was in bed and she was sleeping, i knelt by her side and God spoke clearly to my heart that she will be grown in an instant and that the real issue with my daughter was her mama. That night i repented with the repentance that only the Holy Spirit can bring and cried for hours while God exposed who i was and who He was molding me into. He bonded my heart with Emily and from that point on our relationship totally turned. We became extremely close and i can only now sit, when people comment on the beautiful spirit that she has, and wonder myself at the miracle that God has created between me and her. Our relationship's not perfect by any imagination, but a deep love flows between us and when our personalities clash, we apologize and hug and often pray together. She still has meltdowns but rarely, and her heart is so open to correction that she apologizes quickly and tries so hard to change.

Just recently we were shopping with the whole family and she was sick of it. Joshua was doing everything in his 3 year old power to annoy her and was succeeding. Her snoot got longer and longer and i reminded her that happiness is sometimes a choice. She was quiet for a bit and then asked me what i think would help her. I looked at her and said i could think of something. She then asked me if i would administer the discipline or her father. I told her i didn't know and we were quiet for awhile as we waited for the men. After a bit she asked in a trembling voice if praying would help. I said absolutely and right there in the aisle of the store, i put my arm around her and we asked Jesus to help her be happy. She wiped her tears away and became a totally different girl. She became cheerful with Joshua and waited happily til Marlin came. I was watching her for signs of rebellion and anger that would need to be cleansed but her heart was clear, and i knew another milestone had be laid for her future. Her heart is ripening quickly for that moment when she asks Jesus to step in and become Lord of her life. We don't want to push it and are trusting God to show us clearly when that time is.

I wish i could say that i never battle those rushes of anger but i do. God has brought me far and one way He has done that is by giving us 6, going on 7, children. If mama's angry, the whole family's angry. I desperately want my children to see Jesus Christ shining through me and it's that passion that keeps me falling to my knees for help. I can't begin to be the kind of mother that i want to be unless God Himself does the work, and He has promised to finish the work He has started in my life. He is a gracious Father and His heart is to turn every mother's heart towards her children and if He hears that cry for help, He's already there, moving and working. I'm also learning that He even uses my mistakes to bind our hearts together. That's the kind of God i serve.

Happy Birthday to Mama

It was my birthday today. Happy Birthday to myself. :) It's been so cute, the children have been busy making cards for me. Joshua came up to me with a piece of paper all crumpled up and told me that it's for me. I opened it up and ooohed and aaahed over the lines scribbled over the paper. When i asked him what it was, he said "you know, it's that thing that you like." I assured him that i LOVE that thing and he shyly smiled and cuddled up close to me. I would take these homemade birthday cards from my children, made with great love, any day over fancy cards given out of duty. My children are the BEST!!!!

Really Simple Math

Simple Math

I thought it would be fun to post a picture of them on the twins one year birthday and one exactly a year earlier. I did manage to find one half decent b-day picture of them waiting for the cake and candles. They had no idea what was happening and were totally bewildered by the candles. We gave them each a piece of cake and Jonathan took one bite and decided the only real way to eat cake is to pick up the whole piece and devour it as fast as possible. Caleb, however, wasn't as easily impressed and ended up giving half his piece to his brother who finished it off without a problem.

I can hardly believe it's been a year! So precious and yet so exhausting!!! Those first couple weeks were a blur of sleeplessness and yet i felt the presence of God in such a real way. He truly cares about the smallest of details.

We are definitely NOT having a cozy, dreamy kind of day. Neither has it been a smooth homeschooling day. The house is a mess and i think if we clean it up i'll feel much better. That makes such a difference in my attitude. Not sure what that says about me, but if i have a messy house i just can't seem to think straight and the worst part? It makes me want to eat. Like cookies and leftover Christmas candy.

On a cheery note, the twins birthday is tomorrow!!!!! One year old. I can hardly believe it but i have to admit that i'm glad we're on this side. It went well in the beginning but it's so much easier now! So we're having a birthday party tomorrow night and that means cake and ice cream. Yeah! O.k. not so yeah for my waist, but at least it'll be healthy cake. I'll try and post the recipe a little later. It's the cake that everyone "requires" around here for their birthday. I don't think we'll mess with homemade ice cream in January, unless Marlin feels inspired to stand out and freeze his handsome manly self.

Twins are a lot of work but they are SO worth it. We still sit in amazement and watch them play, awed that God blessed us with two. Going away is becoming a bit of a challenge because they want to explore and with two it's more of a job keeping track of them. SO, starting today we are "blanket training" them. Or trying too. The main idea is to be able to set them on a blanket with a few toys and have them stay on it. Happily and without throwing their toys off. I worked with Jonathan today but ended up holding Caleb because he is miserable with a cold and teeth. Jonathan did great and was completely pleased with the hand clapping and hooraying that we gave him when he was done. I'm starting with about 5 minutes and will gradually increase the time until we can go away and have them play on a blanket so we're not chasing them all over someone's house. I have to be honest, i've never done this but i can see that it will be such a blessing. I'm finding out, after 6 kids, that this type of training makes such a difference in ALL their obedience. The older children LOVE when we have training sessions. They beg to do it and think it's great fun to be told to slide down the steps on their bellies four times or to lay on the floor with their noses pressed on the carpet and one foot in the air. Doesn't take much, does it............