So i'm 8 weeks pregnant.
I have the normal nausea and hormonal upsets that happen with a pregnancy which makes for some interesting and sometimes depressing moments. Such as when i'm holding a conversation with someone and they have no idea that i'm wondering if i can hold my stomach bile down or if i'm going to have to run for the toilet. So far i haven't had to run but it's come close. It's those moments when i wonder what in the world God and ourselves were thinking to try the overwhelming responsibility of bringing another Weaver in the world.
But we're excited and not really scared. Hadassah is such a part of our lives that there's no way to explain it. She is and was such a little gift and her sweet presence is as much a part of us as any of the children.
Whenever i think of her, or we talk of her, it's always in the context of her being with Jesus. And grandma. I see her so clearly. She's so incredibly beautiful and her spirit will go with us wherever God calls us next.
However, we will be getting ultra sounds to make sure everything is ok with the new little Weaver. Because it does seem almost impossible to think of having a perfectly healthy child after first a miscarriage and then Hadassah but i can truly say our hearts are at peace. God is in control and that includes this tiny baby. Big Daddy Weav also says that we're going to find out if the babe's a boy or girl and of course everyone's rooting for a girl. And yet even Emily says that she thinks she'll be almost as excited if it's a boy. They all just want a BABY.
Whether this child is a boy or girl, he or she will be equally longed for and equally loved.