It's Sunday morning and instead of being at church, i'm at home with a little man who has been fighting the flu all week. Not only has he been fighting the flu but he's been a real challenge in other ways. Normally quite obedient and pleasant, he has turned into a little terror who hates his bed, wants to sleep in the big, cozy bed with his parents, and throws a complete fit when he doesn't get what he wants. You would think after raising 8 other children that i would have this training thing figured out but i still get that helpless feeling when little angel turns into big terror and decides to let his own will be known and any good feelings i had about my child training slowly drains away. It's enough to make me want a nap. Which i deserve because last night after hearing him whine and complain quietly to himself at an unearthly hour, i dragged my pillow out to the couch. Decided i would let Big Daddy and groucho mundo figure it out so i slept on the couch and dreamt of the end of the world and massive flooding. And laundry. Lots of laundry and big appliances that quickly dried our clothing so we could keep running to......somewhere. Even in the apocalypse i can't get away from dirty underwear and socks. Woke up to see Marlin standing in complete amazement in front of me wondering why in the world i'm on the couch. In 20 years of marriage that has never happened. Nothing personal dear, just seemed like a good idea in the wee hours of the morning.
So here i am, with the smell of baking ham in the oven and a faint plan to maybe make dessert for lunch since Sunday lunch deserves something sweet with coffee. However, that means i need to actually get busy and i'm not sure i feel like getting busy other than with a cup of tea and a good book. Busy is overrated. Altho dessert not so much, so there's my quandary.
I was a bit sad to miss church this morning because i haven't been there for a couple of Sundays and Marlin is preaching. I like when he preaches. He's a man that lives what he preaches and has a way of speaking truth without condemnation. But then i'm biased and not ashamed of it. We don't have many Sundays left at Oak Hill and i will miss it. The singing is absolutely incredible and one reason i like it is because it's old fashioned hymns sung with great enthusiasm. I suspect i'm getting old fashioned in my mature years. I'm cool with that, bro.
I'll also miss the amazing fellowship dinners with the rows of heart warming and waist growing food, esp desserts. Lifts me to a spiritual like plateau in no time. Lucky for them, i'm not one of those cooks who show up with an array of mouth watering food so my food won't be missed. Marlin's might be tho, since he has inspired quite a few males in the church to take their place as men and fire up that grill. Its been beautiful.
It goes without saying that we'll miss the people too. They have been a very safe place to rest and refresh, and we will be forever grateful. God has used them in our lives and there will be tears when we say good by. Already dreading the farewell get together.
But life goes on and we're ready and excited to take the next step. I have my moments of complete panic and doubt, when i wonder what on earth ails us that we can't act like sane humans altho it's a bit late for that with being pregnant and all. Mostly those moments come when the feedback about our move is negative and other people let us know they're wondering the same thing. It's good tho, because it drives me to my knees and a choice to trust that God is in control. That's all i really care about. Knowing He is God and is leading. I'm willing to be a complete fruitcake as long as it's Him and not my own good intentions. So even in that it's a choice to trust not only God but also my husband. When we look back over our various moves and experiences, it's amazing to see how each situation prepared us for the next. Some were very painful, and some just hard, but each one has been crucial in our walk and growth with Christ. So once again we take a deep breath and jump off the deep end but we're jumping off together......my man, myself, and a whole row of little and not so little fruitcakes, and most important of all, surrounded by the hand of Papa God.