15 December, 2008

The weekend is over, time for real life. I just love weekends, hanging out with Marlin and the kids, goofing off, cooking, (Marlin makes the best food) and just being a family. However, neither do i dread mondays. There's something nice about getting back into schedule, however loose that schedule is and trust me, mine's pretty loose. We have a basic school schedule, what we study what days and a general time line, but with 11 month old twins i try and stay flexible. Very flexible.

A friend and i were talking yesterday about how the more kids we have, the more we relax and enjoy them. How the first couple are the hardest adjustments, i think because there is so much we have to learn, and after 3 or 4, you realize that a little dirt's good for them, your bad days aren't the end of the world, and most importantly, you finally surrender the "freedom" that you once had. Now is not shopping time, craft time, or whatever you loved doing before children. Now is training time, schooling, cleaning, cooking, praying, praying and more praying time, but it's also cuddle time, sweet, soft, kissy baby cheek time, squeezy little babies who think you're the most important person in the world and older children who are learning that the world is full of incredibly interesting things. I LOVE being a mom, i'm totally not fit for the job, but because of the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, He has given us 6 and has promised to teach me how. I have my moments. When i lock myself in the bathroom for a LONG soak, (after Marlin's home) when i feel like screaming if i hear one more child shriek, and when i tell God He made a BIG mistake giving me these hooligans who just won't act like the angels i always thought my kids would be. You know the funny thing is...................i want more. And with every child, my dh becomes more and more my hero. I'm not sure how all that works, i just know that with every baby, i love him more. (Disclaimer: children will NOT make a bad marriage good, ONLY Jesus can do that. I know, we've been there, but that's another whole story)

All that to say this. Wherever God has put you, whatever situation you're in, surrender FULLY to it, and determine in your heart to be all that God wants you to be. God has called me to a semi large family, He may have called you to a small family, or no family, but whatever it is, the only real way to peace through it all is to TRUST Him and surrender yourself fully to Him. My friend said something yesterday that really hit home for me. When Mary, the mother of Jesus, was told by the angel that she was going to have a son, placed there by God, her response was, "I am the Lord's servant, let it be to me as you have said." What a response! No arguing, no self pity, no self righteousness, just simply, "I am the Lord's servant................"

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