08 October, 2013

Renew my heart Oh God...

   So if you could have anything you wanted, what would you ask for? Spiritually, i would ask for and am asking for, a renewed heart and renewed vision, both for mission work and for family. For the grace to hold my life with an open hand, totally trusting that God knows what's best. In reality, i have been convicted that i'm more like the Israelites than ever before. Looking back over my shoulder at "Egypt" and longing for the leeks and garlics of the United States, although i would be content with a grilled John F Martin cheese hotdog. With chocolate raspberry cheesecake for dessert......cream cheese here is over $6 for a small container so no cheesecake.

  See what i mean? Contentment is a battle, and being a missionary in a foreign country hasn't helped a bit. So God has been redirecting my heart, and has allowed me to cry like a baby in front of the whole mission compound at prayer meeting, tearing down any walls of pride and letting me be real, so that He can purify my flesh and teach me a deeper walk.......without hotdogs and cheesecake.

  And onto other news,
  Remember the Rondo retreat we went too? It was beautiful and so very restful....

The cabin where we stayed at. It was truly beautiful on the inside with comfy couches and delightful, simple decorations and wicker furniture on the porch. To those of you used to staying in high end resorts this may seem simple, but when you're surrounded by mud huts and poverty every day, this seems like a taste of heaven. 

This was the little sitting room in our bedroom. It's always been a dream of mine to have a little sitting room in my bedroom to read, talk with my man and drink coffee. I immediately started scheming how i could create something like this in our room but rebuked my tricky heart when i thot of all the Kenyans who don't even have a decent chair. How do we balance love of beauty with a servant's heart? Of giving to those suffering but at the same time recognizing that it's ok to appreciate beautiful things? I only know of one way as of now and that's to tell my Lord about it and ask Him to show me how. 

Ah yes, is it not every little girl's dream to sleep on a big bed surrounded with netting? And it's ok for a big girl to enjoy it too....

The dining room and library....soft green grass which can only be truly be appreciated in a country like this. 
The missionary ladies who share our compound and lives. I am truly learning to appreciate and love them which is a good thing as often as we see each other. :) 

No doubt about it, we are being stretched here and it's not exactly easy or always pleasant. Even physically, we have had our struggles. We go through bouts of cramping, vomiting, and lots of "bathroom time" as our bodies adjust to different bacteria etc. Sooner or later our bodies will get it all figured out, hopefully before the mission board goes broke buying toilet paper for the Weavers. 

And the next time you're wolfing down a cheese hotdog and indulging in a rich slice of cheesecake, think of me and eat another for my sake. :) 


  1. Hello, Darla! Lovely to hear from you! And thank you for the pictures. :-)
    Remember, hotdogs are never as good as they promise to be... tricksy little things! And cheesecake? If (rather, WHEN) I ever find any that is worthy of eating, I will eat it in honor of you!

    Your heart is lovely, as always. A beautiful testimony of a life constantly being surrendered to the One who is worthy!

    Love you!

  2. Absolutely beautiful it is, Darla...and challenging me deeper and more intimate with Him....AH!! Thank you for sharing it all!

  3. Yeah, i know Licia, hotdogs are tricky but i always did like them, especially when pregnant and i crave them far more than a steak. And the cheesecake my sil makes? Evil but so, so good!!! Ah well, we eat wonderful here and i enjoy rice and beans on chapatis with relish. And not having all those rich foods may be why i've only gained 10 lbs so far in this pregnancy, or mayb its cause of all that bathroom time. TMI!


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