And then this morning i heard it. At first i was sure it was my imagination, or maybe i was finally hallucinating from dehydration. All we ever hear from the streets is bar music and shouting. But no, a song.....in perfect harmony from somewhere out in the street....in Luo. And somehow it meant so much more to me in Luo. Those men singing it will never know that they were singing it for a white woman, who sat there with tears in her eyes, her heart reaching towards these dark skinned people and towards both their God and hers. A song my heart has often gone to in hard times, when i have felt stretched beyond bearing, my eyes lingering on the words in church, whispering them to myself and feeling my spirit stretch in faith towards my God.
"I'm pressing on the upward way
New heights I'm gaining every day
Still praying as I onward bound,
Lord plant my feet on higher ground.......
I want to live above the world,
Tho Satan's darts at me are hurled;
For faith has caught the joyful sound,
The song of saints on higher ground....
Lord lift me up and let me stand,
By faith on heaven's table land,
A higher plane than i have found;
Lord plant my feet on higher ground.
As i wrung water out of shirt after shirt and found myself sinking in self pity, those words continued to come back too me, buoying my spirit and ministering to my soul. It's not about my wants or my desires or even about what i think should or should not be. It's about refusing to give room to my flesh, refusing to dwell on what i want or wish, but pressing onward, upward.......