14 November, 2013

God of the impossible...

   There are times when God seems to ask the impossible and its those times when we make the choice to surrender our hearts, our plans and our dreams or make the choice to walk in bitterness. Yesterday we discovered that we are entering one of those times.

   I have been having contractions so yesterday we headed into the hospital to find out what's going on. What we found left us stunned to our very core and overwhelmed with grief. The ultra sound clearly showed that our baby girl has anencephaly, a birth defect where the skull and brain at the back of the head did not develop right. The Doctor is telling us there is 0% chance of living more than a couple hours after birth. We decided to get a second opinion and had another ultrasound done at another place. We didn't tell the technician what the first ultrasound showed so as to get his unbiased opinion. He saw it quickly and left us with no doubt that the first ultrasound was right.

   Tomorrow we head to Tenwek hospital, a mission hospital about 2 hours from here, where Marlin contacted a christian doctor (from PA nonethless) and asked to meet with him to get his thots on what direction to take from here. The doctor asked to do another ultrasound so he can see for himself so he's bringing the ultrasound machine to his house to make it more personal for us. Their family lost their little daughter unexpectedly to a brain tumor this past year and it was through following their blog and being blessed by their testimony that Marlin felt led to contact him. I can't say i look forward to the 2 1/2 hr drive or another ultrasound, as it feels like a fresh wound every time, but i welcome it if it means getting some direction and wisdom.

   So many questions and yet underneath the grief there is a calm peace that God is walking with us. I can't help but think back to the day when i asked God how i was supposed to move to Africa and be pregnant at the same time. He spoke so clearly to my heart that He has a plan for this child, and whenever i felt overwhelmed with the move and adjustments, and with pregnancy hormones, i would remember that and gain fresh strength. So in spite of the tears i think of that quiet voice and my heart stills. And we will now have one more reason to look forward to that day when Jesus says "welcome home."



  1. Sweet Darla,
    Your broken alabaster box, so painful in the shattering, is emitting the sweet fragrance of a life poured out to Jesus. I can sense it from here...
    I know you have more traveling to do on this road; my heart and my prayers are with you.
    Thank you for your willingness to share...
    We love you guys!

  2. Our hearts ache for you as you walk this difficult road in a strang and foreign country but we know you serve the same God and He has tried the way before you. Please tell Emily that we are praying often for her and your whole family. May the Savior carry you in the days ahead Darla as you receive strength for the challenges yet to come. Praying for you!

  3. Praying for your whole family!!!!!

  4. Oh Darla, I'm so sorry! Thank you for your testimony of peace even thru this. We will be praying for all of you!

  5. Tears....... as my heart aches for you as you go thorough this valley, may you feel God"s hand as he gently carries you through the storm! Praying thanks for sharing! Karen

  6. Tears, prayer, hugs..our hearts are aching for yours..May God's sweet peace overwhelm you thru each step in this sad journey. So appreciate the accompaning song also. We love you all ~ Jan

  7. So, so sorry Darla! My heart hurts for you... I don't understand but thankfully I know a God who does. Thanks so much for sharing.... I was reminded of something I just heard this week... One reason God lets us go thru hard times is to wean us from this earth. May God give you all the strength & peace you need for each day! We love you all & will be praying!! Dawn
    PS. Love the song and your testimony!


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