Worst of all, no Hadassah.
I don't feel like celebrating. I'd rather sit home and pity myself. I don't feel like Merry Christmas at all. So i thought we would do as little as possible and maybe Christmas could kind of slip by unnoticed.
Until i found out that our family has to give a 5-10 minute program at church Christmas morning. What?!?!? Church was bad enough but we have to figure out something to SHARE?????
I went along to Tenwek hospital yesterday with Marlin and some Kenyans. One was a mother of 9 who has a badly broken hip and the other a pastor who has throat ulcers. It was an exhausting day. I was unprepared for the emotional wave that took over, and by the end of the day my heart hurt so bad i felt physically sick from seeing all the places that i saw while having Hadassah. All i wanted to do was curl up in a corner and cry. Forget Christmas, it wasn't even on my radar. I visited with Stephanie Kelly for a bit and saw the christmas projects that they are doing with their children and my heart smote me. But not bad enough to think of doing anything about it.
So now i'm forced to think on Christmas since i have to figure out what we're going to sing or share on Christmas day at church. Marlin is busy going to orphan programs and i know the responsibility of planning it falls on me. Oh yes, God knows exactly what He's doing.
First of all, i need to repent of my selfish, self pitying heart. Add complaining to that. Instead of complaining about going to church on Christmas day, i will choose to thank God for the opportunity to share Christmas with the Kenyans. Deep breath....."God, thank you that i can go to church on Christmas. And while i'm at it i choose to thank you for those hard, backless benches."
And next? Well, my time is limited so i'm not sure what's next. Christmas cookie baking will happen during the school holiday since the children want to be a part of it. I don't have any Christmas decorations, but that's ok. It's all about the heart after all. The children will be delighted to make snowflakes to hang and we can still have our peppermint hot chocolate on Christmas day morning. A Christmas plate for each child with an apple, an orange and a handful of candy. A birthday cake for Jesus to eat with our hot chocolate......perhaps a pink layer to symbolize that Hadassah gets to celebrate Christmas with Jesus, although we so badly wish she could celebrate it with us. But yet an opportunity for another choice. "Thank you Jesus that Hadassah is now celebrating with you."
So we will celebrate christmas in our hearts. It's not about the snow, the candles, the nativity scenes, the hot chocolate, the carols, altho that is all a beautiful part of it. It's about Jesus and choosing life and joy.
Life is about choices, is it not?
|He looks like he deserves Christmas, don't you think?|