Christopher is doing wonderful and growing like a little man. I haven't weighed him but i'm convinced he's grown a bit since last week. His little face is filling out and he's getting wee little rolls on his legs. I love it, except it makes me sad to think of how fast he will be out of this stage. He's a very good baby so far. He had his days and nights mixed up at first but after working with him a day or two, he's up to 5 or 6 hour stretches at night. I won't promise it will last but i'm happy with even 3 hour stretches as long as he goes right back to sleep after eating. He has the appetite of a little piggy which would fit with the rest of my babies. :)
So what do i think of a c-section versus natural birth? As i thot, there wasn't any "dear Jesus help me" or "I can't do this" or "NEVER, NEVER again" shrieks but neither was it anything like i envisioned. I was thinking long needle in my spine, and then complete and total numbness from my waist down. Nope, not so much.
|Ok, i really, really don't like this picture. I look like i'm either having surgery or have bowel problems. But i'm leaving it on, mostly because Marlin posted it and partly because i can't always be beautiful. "choke"|
Eventually they wheeled me downstairs on the stretcher and into a little cubby hole to wait on more nurses and paperwork. Marlin asked to be allowed in the operating room so after signing papers that he wouldn't faint and sue them for it, he donned the proper gear and waited. I was feeling pretty calm, up until they wheeled me into the operating room and i saw all the bright lights, the table where i was to be dissected, and the gloved and hatted assistants waiting with their hands in the air. I assumed the "position" and felt the needle go in and the liquid start flowing into my system. As they laid me back and i realized that while i wouldn't feel pain but i WOULD feel pressure, tugging and various other procedures, i had a moment of raw, pure, unadulterated fear. Throw up kind of fear. Never had i felt anything like it and at that moment i envied the woman moaning and praying upstairs in the throes of drug and needle free childbirth. I started praying. Furiously. It's not like i could sit up and say i've changed my mind. I had zero control over my legs at that point and i don't think anyone would've listened if i had. (and just for the record, you know how little, conservative girls are taught modesty as soon as they can sit up? they should also teach them that there will be exceptions and c-sections are one of them. Thankfully they soon taped large blue sheets over my lower half and i hoped no one was scarred for life, esp myself.) As quickly as the fear entered it left, followed by a complete and total peace. I started thanking Jesus for this opportunity of trusting Him, i thanked Him for being in control and i basically held my own praise and worship service while staring up at the ceiling and clutching Marlin's hand. I felt them marking where the incision would be and i sensed when they began, altho thankfully i couldn't feel the actual cutting. I was unprepared for the tugging and pressure that happened and i started wondering if they would ever get the baby out or if they had lost their way. After a great tug and me telling Marlin that i was going to be sore for a very, very long time, we heard a gurgle and Christopher James was pulled out. Marlin said he could tell when the doctor had him out because she got a great big grin on her face. There were tears and rejoicing and much anxious checking to see that baby was ok. And he was!!!
The nurses brought Christopher over to Marlin and we adored him while the doctor continued to play tug of war with my insides. Marlin and baby disappeared and eventually, at long last i was wheeled out of the operating room and into recovery. That part was tough. My legs felt like concrete and as if there was a million needles pricking them. Like how you feel when you wake up during the night and your hand fell asleep and you can't move it. It was incredibly claustrophobic and i kept praying that no terrorist would decide to choose this time to take over the hospital. Seriously. You think of those things when you are living in a third world country and your legs are completely helpless. At long last they deemed me fit to be moved upstairs and they wheeled my wobbly, still semi numb body upstairs. Marlin was waiting and shortly they brought Christopher in and all was right with my world. Except i had a gash in my stomach, my legs still wouldn't work, and the poor lady next door was still birthing the old fashioned way. At that point i decided i would rather be me than her. Sometimes natural is over rated.
We were privileged to have a very nice, private room and when the feeling returned to my limbs and they hooked up my pain meds, it truly was right with my world. By Sunday i was home and here we are, a week later. My healing has been going very well, except for a small bout of emotional hormones the fourth and fifth day. Wow, that was not so fun but from what i gathered, normal, especially after a c-section. Christopher is absolutely the cutest thing ever and i don't think it's possible for a child to be loved more.
Simply put, we are seriously in love!