03 December, 2009
I am in a spiritual rut right now. I wake up in the morning, nurse Jacob and then convince myself that i really need to lay back down and snooze some more. I know i should get up and spend time with God, but somehow i can't seem to follow through. Even reading the Bible takes more mental energy than i can muster up. I try, and those little devotional help books come in handy, but to be honest i always feel like i cheated God out of His time when i read those. Of course now is the time when i read on other people's blogs what wonderful times they are having while they develop strong spiritual muscles, and their children are showing such incredible spiritual depth. Meanwhile my kids are fighting and the twins are watching a DVD. Again. To comfort myself i dig through the pantry and inhale some chocolate and maybe a cookie or two, so now instead of being a skinny spiritual loser, i'm a fat spiritual loser. I remind myself that this too shall pass, and soon enough i'll feel both spiritual and skinny again, and in the meanwhile i get out my cookie recipes to make sure i don't run out of comfort food. And no, i'm not depressed, just in need of a revival......and very thankful that i'm saved by grace, not by works.