03 December, 2009
I am in a spiritual rut right now. I wake up in the morning, nurse Jacob and then convince myself that i really need to lay back down and snooze some more. I know i should get up and spend time with God, but somehow i can't seem to follow through. Even reading the Bible takes more mental energy than i can muster up. I try, and those little devotional help books come in handy, but to be honest i always feel like i cheated God out of His time when i read those. Of course now is the time when i read on other people's blogs what wonderful times they are having while they develop strong spiritual muscles, and their children are showing such incredible spiritual depth. Meanwhile my kids are fighting and the twins are watching a DVD. Again. To comfort myself i dig through the pantry and inhale some chocolate and maybe a cookie or two, so now instead of being a skinny spiritual loser, i'm a fat spiritual loser. I remind myself that this too shall pass, and soon enough i'll feel both spiritual and skinny again, and in the meanwhile i get out my cookie recipes to make sure i don't run out of comfort food. And no, i'm not depressed, just in need of a revival......and very thankful that i'm saved by grace, not by works.
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I can totally relate to you on this one, Darla! Keep looking up! You are normal! I hope you and yours are doing fine. I am very anxious to see that sweet little one of yours. You will have to email or post some pics of him. God bless your day, Jewel
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this one too...and I haven't even had the baby yet!! :) Thanks for being so real...it helps me to feel, well, normal! I'm just so distracted by all there is to do yet to make this house a home....by homeschooling...by disciplining and training my children. Oh that we would have wisdom and joy and time to quiet ourselves in the midst of raising our children to live for HIM!! Blessings to you Darla!
ReplyDeleteConnie
Darla,
ReplyDeleteI mean this in the very best way - you are entirely too hard on yourself!
God knows the life of a mother is busy and it's hard to find one on one time with God. He not only knows this, He understands it. He knows you need sleep. He knows you're too wiped out to do a whole lot of work on your relationship with Him. do you think He expects miracles from you? He is the one you does the miracles! :)
God is wonderful. He doesn't judge us at our hardest moments. He cares for us the same struggling or not. He cares when things are easy and when they are hard. and He's still there whether we're exhausted from being up with a newborn or spend 4 solid hours on our knees paying every morning.
The praying is for US... not Him ;) prayer keeps us feeling connected to God. it helps draw us close emotionally and spiritually to our heavenly father. He is God with our without our prayers, but I believe he enjoys our prayers because he knows they bless us.
whisper prayers while you nurse or rock your baby. stop and look up to heaven and whisper a prayer when you're throwing laundry in. it will get you through until you're able to get down on your knees for a long lengthy date with God. and the next time you are able to have a long lengthy date with God say a little prayer for the next time you're swamp and overwhlemed. God is timeless, so why not pray ahead?
think of the times you felt close to God - the times you felt spiritually full and well-fed. those are the times God gives us to help carry us through the trying exhausting times. that is what is getting me through right now with a baby who doesn't like to sleep very much and a 5 yr old who keeps waking with nightmares and sleep talking. when I was pregnant I prayed ahead for this time to come. I knew I'd be too busy to pray as much as I wanted to - so I stocked up a bit back then ;)
((hugs)))
and my dear friend, you are anything but fat. I couldn't believe how great you looked when I saw you last! you didn't even look like you had had a baby! you've have 5 other pregnancies, you know this time of "post partum frumpies" is just a phase. it doesn't last forever. and usually nobody even notices it but the mom anyhow.
ReplyDeletePraying for you...and yes, isn't it such a comfort that we are saved by grace and not by works? He is so worthy of our praise! I know the temptation of seeking "lover's less wild" than Jesus and the struggle of spending time with God. And I know your heart, my dear one...you long for him, you don't want to "punch a timeclock". The fact that you long for Him and miss your time with Him, once again proves your dependence on Him...even for good things!! What a blessing! I have a Mama verse that has always meant so much to me during that new time of getting into routine after the baby..."And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." Galatians 6:9 Sister...you know this from seasons past, this too shall pass. But until then, I want to come along side of you and lift your hands for battle. If I do that, can i come over for some Chai? :) Love you oodles and oodles.
ReplyDeleteMy days as a Mother with young children are over and it's still hard to find time for the Lord sometimes!You can commune with God as you nurse your baby,wash dishes,fold laundry etc.Listen to praise music,worship as you work!
ReplyDeleteThanks friends for all the encouraging words. God is so good to bless me with people who care and yes Billie, you can come over for chai anytime. :) That includes the rest of you to!
ReplyDeleteDarla