Today i talked with a mother of 13, who homeschools AND works morning and evening in the family's veal barn...........i was blessed.
Today i met a radiant young woman wearing a beautiful, Jewish head scarf, whose face glowed, someone who came to those convictions through the work of the Holy Spirit and who stepped out in radical obedience.........i was blessed.
Today i went to climb into the van to leave church, and couldn't. There were 2 casserole dishes sitting on my seat, given by a very busy mama who wanted to bless me. I KNOW how busy she is and i KNOW the time she spent making that food could've been spent doing something for herself.......i was blessed.
And today i cried on the way home from church, once again searching my heart, crying out to God to give me the extra strength to continue giving......and to continue trusting. I wondered if we had heard God wrong, if we tried to "fix" a situation that wasn't ours to fix. Wondering why everything seems to be going wrong farm wise that possibly could, and if somehow, through all the prayers and tears, we misread God's heart for us. Of how much easier it would've been to stay in our debt free comfort zone. Marlin listened, saying little, but i knew, looking across the van at the man i love, that he cared. We drove in silence while I dried the tears and then i heard His voice. The one that had seemed silent the last several days. The voice that makes my heart leap. Deep in the recesses of my heart..."Did i ever promise that following my will would be easy?" And following that voice, my heart filled with His glorious joy, knowing that nothing can separate me from the His love. Following God with reckless abandon is never easy........but it's the only way i want to live.