27 August, 2011

I am a woman

I am a woman. And i like to be right. Always. Especially with my husband. In a disagreement? Back off and acknowledge that i am right and he won't get hurt. Any other woman out there know the feeling?

When Marlin and i were first married, i couldn't tolerate him ever thinking that he was right and i was wrong. Was it a red car or orange? Trust me, it was whatever color i said it was and i would argue myself blue in the face to prove him wrong. I had strong opinions and didn't hesitate to let everyone know when i felt they were messed up in their heads for thinking differently. It's a wonder i had any friends and it's no wonder that i almost lost my marriage.

God has done a great work in my heart these last 10 years, but there is still a whole lot more needed. I am continually amazed at how quickly i slip back into old habits, and how that turns me into a critical wife. And i ever so "sweetly" let him know when he's wrong. That's called manipulating and it's despicable. I love being around Marlin every day, all day. I watch him and the children outside and i feel like the luckiest woman alive to get to be with him constantly. But with that comes the challenge of  being honest and forthright, but never manipulating and controlling and to be honest, i don't have that balance figured out yet. Each man is different, but each man wants to be respected and looked up to as the greatest man alive. But the greatest man in my life is human and makes mistakes. Not to mention that he doesn't like to be wrong either. ;)

So just tonight i was mulling over some issues that i felt God needed to deal with him on, and something small happened that made me sit up and pay attention. Just like that i realized that i was in that old rut of  "he's wrong and i really need to tell him but i can't because i'm spiritual and submissive, but I AM SO RIGHT!"

I was wrong. Dead wrong, and may God have mercy on my female soul. Marlin likes me feisty and with opinions, but as long as i am not under the ruling power of the Holy Spirit, the very thing he likes about me will destroy us.

I am a woman and by the grace of God, i pray that my children will someday say that their mama was willing to be wrong.


  1. It takes such courage to be so honest. I have been married 34 years and I know at the beginning of our marriage I kept begging God to change my hubby. He answered with a resounding NO and changed me instead.
    I am humbled, thank you honey.

  2. you must have stolen 'my' heart', don't even try taking my identity!~~Pauline (I'm 'soo' right on this, u got into my head!)

  3. lol, Pauline, i have a hard enough time taking care of my own identity without taking on someone else's. ;)

    Thanks for sharing Jill, i appreciate it!


  4. ohhhhh, I didn't check your site for awhile, and was delighted to see I had three posts to read!!! The last one was definately the one I needed to read :)
    Have a blessed day!


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