19 February, 2012


The book is good. Captivating good.....page turning, can't put it down good. When i stopped in the other day at the library to pick up a book for school, the librarian said "hey, i have this book for you." I was surprised to say the least. Must be God. Or the devil.

I took the book home and started reading it today. A real thick book, full of yummy words and an excellent plot. Well written and in a way that makes you become the person or people the book is about. I love books like that. They are rare and I LOVE THOSE KINDS OF BOOKS! I settled down this afternoon for a "nap" and sighed in delight as i savored the first sentence. I read that sentence three times......just for the joy of having a big, thick, interesting book ahead of me to read. However, it wasn't long before i developed a nagging in the back of my mind. I read even faster to try and outrun that nagging feeling. Always works to outrun the Holy Spirit you know....

So now the battle rages in my mind. Back and forth.....i tell myself that it's condemnation. After all, the book isn't THAT bad, i've read a lot worse. And tomorrow is my day to stay home and watch mom while dad is in church, which means a free, quiet morning and surely God wouldn't have thrown this book into my lap if He hadn't meant me to read it. And i AM free in Christ......

But it's the compromise thing that does it for me. Just a wee little compromise. The children will never know if i read that book. It will be the tiniest blip on the screen of my life........but every little tiny blip that is a compromise will affect my personal walk with Jesus and those little blips will reflect themselves in my children's lives. I have seen what compromises does to families. If there is an area of compromise and an unwillingness to completely surrender, it WILL affect my children. Slowly, so very slowly.......til in the end we forget what ever started that slide to hell. A book send me to hell? No, not the book, but the beginning of compromises and how quickly one compromise leads to another. O sure, God will pursue us, the Holy Spirit convicting, but He can only do as much as we allow Him. O yes, i can repent, but it's a serious thing to ignore the voice of God even in a small matter KNOWING that He is warning me. Each time i choose to ignore that so very still, small voice, i am taking one step away from godly children and grandchildren, not to mention my own personal life. My compromises reaching far into eternity, affecting lives that aren't even in existence yet.

Ah, but the battle is hard. It's just a stupid book but my flesh dies hard. If you are a passionate reader you will understand. If you are not a passionate reader, hungry for good books, then replace the word books with whatever it is in your life that you feel uneasy about.  Pay attention to that uneasy feeling, it may just be the Holy Spirit and heeding that still, small voice may change your life. And the lives of your descendants.


  1. I was excited to see an update!!

  2. Hey, Welcome Back! It was good hearing from you again. Very Encouraging words...Thank-you, Jewel
    P.S. Are you and your family doing well?

  3. So glad to see you are back! I have missed you. This was a very good post. You described the battle I go through so well. The words you said are so true, so very true. It is good to see that I am not the only one who goes through this battle, this gives me comfort and helps me to be stronger in my stand to serve the Lord instead of myself. The enemy has no new games to play on us, he has been using the same ones on everyone for thousands of years. We are responsible for how we respond to the Holy Spirit convicting us when those games are aimed at our lives. Thank you for sharing this post!

  4. yeah, wonderful to read your blog again..didn't realize you were back at it till a facebook friend told me and she was wondering if you had the baby cause you never blogged about it..so there's a suggestion for the next time..and of course you need to add Lots of pictures for Levi's proud auntie to see
    and This Blog...so real to me..last summer went through a HUGE similiar battle..so rediculous all the excuses we can come up with yet it maked me so irritable it's obvious God wants something better for me than that thing I pursued so guiltily..so grateful for the Holy Spirit and grace!

  5. What true words Darla! Thanks for sharing them! What a blessing God has given us in the 'still small voice' making us aware when we have sinned....and I call it that because, underneath all the other words we like to use to describe it, it comes back to sin...But what freedom there is in calling it sin....There is forgiveness, cleansing, and healing. I praise God for His redemptive love! Thrilled to see you're back blogging :)


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