17 November, 2013

This Is My Father's World...

   I sit in the quietness of the apartment here at Tenwek and is spite of the beautiful morning sounds of birds and the peaceful atmosphere (no city sounds here) i find my eyes keep filling up and running over. I struggle to keep my spirit from sinking into darkness.....i tell God that i don't want to do this, it's too hard. I don't doubt for a second that God can create a miracle and heal our little one but i also sense that God is asking us to drink from this cup for a purpose. There are more women in Kenya who have lost children, sometimes half their families, than women that haven't so how can i say that we refuse to accept this heartbreak. May God us this to bridge a bit of the culture gap that stands like a barrier between me and my Kenyan sisters.
    Yesterday Marlin was concerned that i had lost a bit more fluid so we came up to Tenwek so the OB could check me and make sure all was ok. It was and how my heart fought to accept that we left the children behind. They are in good hands (please pray for those good hands as 8 children without their parents can be a challenge for the best of people!) but i can't even begin to describe how homesick i am for them. They will be coming up tomorrow sometime to be here when the baby comes and to say good by to her and will return home the following day. And as soon as my body is halfway ready i'm headed back to Kisumu to hold all my rowdy little boys and drink in the sweetness of Levi's toddlerhood. I so badly want to make him into a baby again but God forbid i manage that. The best i can do is grab him as he runs by, holding him for a precious minute before he is off to conquer the world.
   So today? Today we wait......and cry. 


  1. I weep with you in your grief.The God of the good times is still God in the bad times....when things go wrong He'll make them right.Struggling with you to surrender to His Plan......Praying for You. MaryAnn Zook(Tony's sister-in-law)

  2. I cry with you...my heart aches for you! (we just lost another little one way to early this past month) May you feel God thro this all in the deep pain! We are praying! Suzi Weaver Jacob's sister from CO

  3. Darla....
    I'm crying here with you - I cant say that I know what your going through, but God does. Praying God will be close as you go thru the next days. I wanted to see you yet before you all left but you left so soon. Tonight, we'll have you in our thoughts as we are together at Deans. Wish you could be there too! Church was meaningful today. And the support they all showed for you and your family was amazing. It brought tears to my eyes.
    Prayers... ~Charity (from Kisumu;))

  4. Marlin & Darla, Eric, Emily, Zach, Josh, Jonathan, Caleb, Jacob & Levi,
    We have been praying for you and we will keep praying for you. God will be close to you as you say "Hello" and "Goodbye". With our love, ~ Keith & Judy

  5. My heart aches with you as you go through this difficult time. Praying for you! Betty Ann Stoltzfus (Tony's sister)

  6. Darla and the all the rest of the Weavers,
    May Gods love continue to surround you thru this hurting time. You have been on my mind sooo much and trust the next day(s) you will reach out and cling to the "Almighty Hand!!!" Your blog is touching and inspiring !!! - Miriam (Tonys sister)

  7. Praying for God to wrap all of you tightly in His arms as He walks with you through this valley. Jayne (Aaron Kelley's Mom and Hannah's Nana)

  8. Hey sister, I just wanted to let you know we are still praying for all of you. I think of you often and can't imagine what you are going thru. Give Emily a hug for me I'm sure it's really hard on her. Thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks to come. Love Noah, Sara, Alana, Kinza

  9. I kept thinking of you off and on tonight! Want to let you know we are praying for you (and the children), as you face this "mountain".
    "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
    (((Hugs))) Matt Marlene and family.

  10. Sweet Darla,
    I dreamed of you and your little girl last night. The first child up in the Bajus house this morning is Liam and I asked him what he dreamed about - the Weavers! All our hearts and prayers and thoughts and dreams are with you.

    Though it is a hard path, a tear-filled cup of sorrow, I know that the Lord has found in you and Marlin vessels that are trustworthy.

    Oh! May you know His presence so deeply as you labor!
    May you hear His weeping as it mingles with your own!
    May your heart be enlarged, even as it is breaking!
    May you hear His cry of "Peace!" in the midst of this storm!

  11. Hey sis & family,
    Can't say how tempted I am to just get on a plane & sit w/ you...would so do it but @ this point don't even have a passport yet.

    Know that I'm sitting by you in my spirit,& our prayer's are w/ you.Where's your big brother when you need him, right???

    We are all very sad,but along w/ all the other sentiments, know that God is very much in control.
    Love you all,Kath

  12. Prayers ..... Tears...Hugs thinking of you as you go through this valley and that your labor and delivery go well for you.

  13. Just want to let you know that I'm praying for you and your family. Praying that our heavenly Fathers hands will hold you and that you will feel those hands of love and comfort surrounding you.

  14. Dear Darla, Just want you to know you're on my heart & mind alot today! Praying for you alot too! I read this verse recently and thought of you... "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
    Love you ~ Dawn

  15. Hi Darla, Just wanted to say I am crying with you as you go tru this. May God hold you in his arms. Praying for you! Anita


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