Jacob..........

Jacob. Cheerful, full of love and good humor, round fat little cheeks, toothy grin, (almost 4 teeth) and a blessing that i can't begin to express. We all simply adore him. The children dote on him, daddy goes for him first thing when he walks in the door, mommy kisses and feeds him constantly, the world smiles on him. I told Marlin every child should be the youngest in a large family.........

When i found out i was carrying yet another small Weaver in my womb, i wasn't happy. In fact, i was mad. After all, i had just delivered a set of boys 13 months earlier and if anyone deserved a break i did. I did actually surrender, kind of, but expected God to give me an easy labor for having baby #7. Worst delivery i ever had and i made sure both God and Marlin heard loud and clear that i wasn't going to put myself through that torture again. I didn't count, however, on a mother's love for her baby and i definitely didn't count on Jacob. It wasn't long before i found myself crazy over the latest addition.........but what to do about this prolific womb of mine? I mean, i do live under grace and the Bible doesn't actually come out and say you have to have a gazillion kids and even the majority of the "church" would say it's the right thing to do to "protect yourself." I had a real battle waging in my heart and to make matters worse, Marlin wouldn't say much when i asked him to please figure out what God wants for us so i can plan. After weeks of praying i realized that i needed to truly surrender my heart once again, and trust God to lead us. I also kept stuffing the longing for another baby far, far away. One morning i told Marlin that the more children we have, the more i love children. I was shocked when he heartily agreed. And i've finally realized something. After the twins i was convinced that i was in the right place to give myself a much needed break. But God knew exactly what i needed and it wasn't a 4 year break. It was Jacob. God knew that the best way to turn my heart where it needed to be was through the most adorable baby ever. I find myself losing my fear that "it" might happen again and find myself rejoicing that God ignored my selfishness and gave the Weaver family exactly what we needed. What happens next? I have no clue and i have a total peace about that. God is faithful and that's all i need to know. Until then, i am going to soak up baby love, a love that is straight from the heart of God.