09 April, 2011

Mom, i miss you.........

I miss the mother you used to be.......

I miss the way your eyes would crinkle in laughter.......

I miss our mid evening pizza parties while we cleaned the doctor's office, the way you always made time for a snack and laughter. You always made sure you shared the paycheck with us, although you needed it yourself..........

I miss the smell of coffee on the way home from church Sunday evenings, the steam pouring out of your thermos, filling the car with the smell of comfort and security.............

I miss the way you would listen to every word we spoke as we shared our teenager ups and downs........

I miss the sound of your feet, quick and sure, beating a rhythm across the kitchen floor early in the morning and late at night. It made me feel safe and happy.........

I miss the laughter of delight as you held your grandchildren for the first time.......

I miss the smell of Murphy's oil soap you used on Saturday cleaning..........

I miss the way your hands always smelled of lotion.........

I miss the way I always knew that you loved me, even when I messed up terribly.........

I miss you, mom, and i want you back. Some days I feel I can't go on and I beg our Heavenly Father to release you from this sadness that is now your life. I know you weren't perfect, but in taking care of you I know in whom you have put your trust, and I rest in the love and grace that I know surrounds you from above. I remember you saying many times over growing up that you want many songs to be sung at your funeral........joyful songs. Someday you will be released from the shell that has become you.....and when that happens, i will rejoice with you, knowing that some glorious day i will see you again the way you used to be, only much better. I will sing those joyous songs with tears running down my face........until then, it is my turn to bring security into your life. To hug you when you're worried and to tell you that i love you. It is an honor to be your daughter and I pray that God would give me the strength and grace to be all in your life that He wants me to be.

My mother........an eternity ago


  1. Aww! Bless your heart, Darla, for faithfully taking care of your dear mother! God will bless you for this if he hasn't already! Praying for you, Jewel

  2. The only blessing i need, Jewel, is knowing that I'm walking in obedience to what God has called me. This post was written out of a work that God has once again done in my heart.....someday it will be our turn to be taken care of and by the grace of God, I want our children to do the same, not because of blessings God may send their way, and not so people can pat them on their head, but because of a heart to walk in obedience to their heavenly Father.


  3. Bless you dear one....I see the beauty of God's work and shaping in your life in many ways, but I'm especially aware of it as I read this post. You are a beautiful, precious woman of God, and I know that our Father is pleased with you.

    All the way my Savior leads me,
    What have I to ask beside?
    Can I doubt His tender mercy,
    Who through life has been my Guide?
    Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
    Here by faith in Him to dwell!
    For I know, whate’er befall me,
    Jesus doeth all things well.

    All the way my Savior leads me
    Cheers each winding path I tread,
    Gives me grace for every trial,
    Feeds me with the living Bread.
    Though my weary steps may falter
    And my soul athirst may be,
    Gushing from the Rock before me,
    Lo! A spring of joy I see.

    All the way my Savior leads me
    O the fullness of His love!
    Perfect rest to me is promised
    In my Father’s house above.
    When my spirit, clothed immortal,
    Wings its flight to realms of day
    This my song through endless ages:
    Jesus led me all the way.

    Praying for you and loving you too...

  4. Thank you Billie......you know, Rex mentioned in his sermon last Sunday that there is a part of dysfunction in every one of us, because of the Fall. At first it kind of made me mad, because i hate dysfunction.....i want a perfect family and i want to be a perfect wife. No dysfunction here, thank you very much! But the longer i thought about it the more i realized he was right. And somehow, in realizing and accepting that i will never be perfect, it has released me from holding against my mother all the failures and inconsistencies that i "saw" in her life. I was finally able to accept her for who she WAS, and now i'm able to accept her for who she IS. It doesn't make me strive any less to be that surrendered woman of God, it just makes me pray that my children would extend grace to their own mother. She sure needs it! :)


  5. What a sweet tribute to your Mother!Blessings to you as you continue to help with her care.

  6. I miss Mom too and often, often think of her in a day's time...I join you in your memories and in looking forward to that "glorious day" when I get to enjoy her again...


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